The one topic I have avoided blogging about: Sexual Harassment in Jordan
Why, you ask?
Well, to start, I love Jordan, its people, and my life here. Of course, this is a good thing! But, I could also be accused of looking at things with rose-colored glasses more often than not. From this view, the sexual harassment of the streets is something laughable – and not to be “overblown,” because there are so many counter-examples: male Arab friends, students, colleagues, and friendly strangers who are more than upstanding gentleman.
Secondly, I really hate that many people are wary of the Arab world and often have negative stereotypes of the region. The whole point of me living here is to help dispel these misunderstandings, and its something truly important to me. Sexual harassment is, of course, also a problem in America – I even wrote an article after having such experiences at Fairfield University – and its even worse in other places.
So, even though I feel free to talk about ANY other topic in Jordan, I’ve avoided mentioning this major societal flaw.. but khalas, the time has come.
If you promise: not to forget the other wonderful things I’ve told you about Jordan, to avoid overgeneralizing based on my anecdotes, and to remember that [ insert your country’s name here ] is also not flawless … you’re allowed to continue reading
Disclaimer done. Let’s get down to it then: Sexual Harassment is a HUGE problem here.
First, the Vocabulary:
1) Sexual harassment is done by the “shebab,” which technically means the youth, but in this context means the men of all ages (you’d be surprised how young and how old) who harass women in the streets. Note, these shebab are always strangers.
2) Sexual harassment ranges from “little things” – like shebab yelling “Hello! How are you! How are you!” as American girls walk down the street ( note, I use “little things” in a tongue and cheek way… these are not nice conversation starters, but rather verbal harassment: strangers in the street heckling and laughing ) – to big things – like flashing, grabbing, and rape.
Second, the Frequency:
1) “Little things” happen every day. In fact, whenever I walk past a man or a group of men who DON’T verbally harass me, I think to myself something along the lines of “Oh, how nice those guys are!” ….. with the follow up thought always being: “Julie, they are nice because they didn’t harass you? Raise your standards.” But really, its true. Shebab have made “normal” behavior praiseworthy.
2) “Big things” also happen. I have friends who have been flashed and friends whose have had shebab grab their butt … Al hamdulileh I have never had a friend experience worse than that … but that doesn’t mean, of course, that worse things don’t happen.
Third, the Women:
Needless to say, shebab do not discriminate … sexual harassment happens to EVERY WOMAN who walks the streets. It does not matter if you are foreign or Arab. It does not matter if you have long blonde hair or wear a hijab. It does not matter if you are young or old. It does not matter if you are a model or average looking. It does not matter if you are wearing a mini-skirt or if you are bundled up in a winter jacket. It happens to every woman.
All of the “Levels of Sexual Harrassment” are annoying, frustrating, disheartening, embarrassing, sad, and at times, scary.
Sometimes people don’t understand “the big deal” .. and often people here write off the shebab as an unavoidable inconvenience. But it is a big deal, because every level escalates. It may seem harmless for a guy to yell “Welcome to Jordan!” to an ajnabia… but what about when he yells from a car to an Arab girl?… then what if he says “I want sex!” next?… then what if he flashes a girl?… then what if he touches her?… then what if … ?
Who wants a society where you’re always expecting the men to behave badly? Avoiding their eyes on the street? Holding your breath as you walk by a group? Being surprised – and grateful – when men act normal?
Not me. And, if I could take a minute to go back to the DISCLAIMER above, neither do most Jordanians. In fact, a class from the University of Jordan recently made a great video protesting the sexual harassment present on their campus.
The first step is to bring everything out into the light. Just like this video did, we need to put the truth out there so that people can recognize it, talk about it, and hopefully change it.
This post is my contribution.
Julie in Jordan! 