“Yeah that’s true… So, I am your family here.”

I really can’t pass an hour in Jordan without thinking to myself, something along the lines of, “people here are SO nice.” Yet sometimes, it merits a blog post. Really, the kindness of my friends here is something I feel like I don’t know how to possibly repay… today it is that feeling of overwhelmed amazement, weighing on me, that compells me to write this blog at 1:30 AM. As I told Nadine, sometimes I feel like the only way to return their all-encompassing kindness is to tell my American friends/family about it.

 

1) First thing first, I went to see Alaa, Nisreen’s sister. I am teaching a Tawjihi English Review Class (Tawjihi = a really important test, taken by high school seniors, which determines their future course of study/college acceptance) at Al Baqa’a Camp. Alaa is currently in her Tawjihi year, and she offered to give me her English books so I could copy them for class material — which I should mention are really important books, which she passed to me without hesitation. As if that wasn’t nice enough, she took an hour to sit with me and explain the intricacies of Tawjihi; she could tell I was nervous because the Jordanian/American systems are so different. Oh, and Saleh, her 3rd grade younger brother, kept offering me tea/milkshake/coffee as if he was the man of the house :)

 

2) Later on, after my class at Al-Baqa’a Camp, I went to visit the Qannas family. I connected with them last week – they are my Fairfield U friend (and occasional Arabic tutor) Bayan’s relatives! The first time we met, the family welcomed me to their home for a long evening of kanafeh, tea, and warm conversation; all this and they had never met me before! When they invited me to come back following my class at Baqa’a, I was so happy to go. BUT again, the kindness was overwhelming.

First, Abu Khaldoun (father) drove all the way through the refugee camp to pick me up — next, Um Khaldoun (mother) unveiled a HUGE feast of more delicious arabic food than I have seen in a long time .. all sghrul bait – homemade! — the evening again passed quickly, 4 hours flying by, with conversation, tea, and even a recent wedding video of Khaldoun (son) & his wife. I brought sweets along that I gave the family as a gift – trying to repay some of their generosity – YET moments later THEY presented me with a gift…. beautiful necklaces and jewelry that are just my style. Can’t beat Jordanians (/Palestinians) at hospitality, wallah (by god!)

Upon leaving, I tried to insist on a taxi. But the Qannas family refused. “We are like your family here!” and off we went. Both times they have driven me home…and both times its been a difficult adventure. Amman is not an easy city to find your way along, especially in the dark, and ESPECIALLY with an ajnabi (foreigner) trying to give you directions. But everytime we took a wrong turn — and I got a chagrined look, apologizing extensively – the Qannas looked at me like I was crazy, Shu malish? What’s bothering you?, because they truly didn’t feel annoyed by my inconvenience.. and couldn’t understand why I was apologizing.

 

3) As if all that wasn’t enough for one day…. then I checked my bag and saw I had missed calls from Nisreen. Because, of course, in typical Julie form I forgot to text her and say that I left the Baqa’a refugee camp ok. Once it got late, she called me a bunch — worried that I was unaccounted for and potentially wandering around the refugee camp in the dark. I didn’t see the calls for an hour … and had her worried enough to cross check my whereabouts with Nadine and Rich!

When I saw her later that night (after accidently waking her up to get directions to her home, so I could return the book that her sister lent me even though she needed it for school the next day) I apologized emphatically for worrying her. Like the Qannas family, she looked at me like I was crazy – crazy for thinking it would inconvenience her to thinkg/worry/look after me.

N: “I know you’re independent and can take care of yourself, but I’m always thinking of you anyway”

Me: “I need it, I mean, its not like I have family here”

N: “Yeah that’s true…. So, I am your family here“

 

I came home feeling burdened by a weight of kindness that you cannot repay, nor that is ever expected to be repaid. To Alaa, Saleh, Qannas family, and Nisreen this “bending over backward” kind of kindness that continues to amaze me is normal for someone you care about.  As Nadine said, “throw out all the definitions” of friends, guests, hospitality, gifts, giving, and family. Here is just different.

 

 

In a good way. And I’m happy (and I’m sure my family too)

to have such good friends here looking after me.